If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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