I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
