I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize