Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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