How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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