Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
