Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He called his prostate his "boner button".
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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