we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
