ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
