the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
