Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
