We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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