Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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