I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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