I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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