i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize