Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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