Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
