Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
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Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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