my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize