Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
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Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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