Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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