So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
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I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
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I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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