Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
