So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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