toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
