at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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