hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
