It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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