Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
