I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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