Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
