mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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