I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
