Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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