I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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