dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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