Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
