love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
