I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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