So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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