so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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