I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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