At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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