Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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