Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
