And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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