Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
