please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
