That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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