So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
