I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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