Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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