Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
