I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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