Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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