i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
