I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
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i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
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Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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