I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
