2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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