she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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