Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
